Best Poodle Jokes

funny poodle picture

A poodle walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks at the bartender straight in the eye and says,
“Hey! guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking poodle before? Amazing, right? How about a drink?”
The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Sure, do you drink PETsi?”

Poodles are so smart. I asked my poodle what’s two minus two. She said nothing.

What’s more amazing than a talking poodle?
A spelling bee.

Everyone always talks about their standard poodle
Am I the only one who drives an automatic?

Why must you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?
You might step in a poodle.

A Standard Poodle can be a lot of trouble for a first-time dog owner
I’d recommend an Automatic Poodle

What do you get if you cross a cocker-spaniel with a poodle and a rooster?
A Cockerpoodledoo!

At the dog park, the ducks kept biting my poodle without touching my doodle. I should have known this would happen. Poodles are pure bread!

Did you hear about the poodle that gave birth outside?
She got a ticket for littering!

What did the poodle say when he sat on sandpaper?
Ruff! Ruff!

What does a poodle call his dad?
Paw!

How does a poodle stop a Nextflix show?
It presses the “paws” button!

What markets should poodles avoid?
Flea markets!

Why are poodles terrible dancers?
They have two left feet!

How do you wash a poodle?
With shampoodle!

What do you call a wet poodle?
A puddle

How did little Tom kill his toy poodle?
Trying to put batteries in it.

What do you call a frozen poodle?
A pood-sicle.

Why do poodles run in circles?
Because it’s too hard to run in squares.

What happens when a poodle eats too much garlic?
His bark is much worse then his bite!

A priest, a minister, and a poodle walk into a blood bank. The poodle says, I think I might be a type o.

A telemarketer called and asked to speak to “the person who runs the house”. I handed the phone to my 6-month-old poodle and went back to my nap.

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